June 3, 2011

when dreams come true

When I was a little girl all I wanted was a sister. I believed that if I had a sister that I would always have a friend. A friend to play with as a child, a friend to talk to, a friend to be a friend for life. And while now I realize that not all sisters are friends I didn't realize it then.

Alas, I lived my childhood sister-less.

I had a brother. A big brother. A mean brother who didn't really like me around. Of course I worshiped him. I thought he was the best thing in the world and I spent so much time wishing he'd like me too. There are moments, moments in pictures that I see he loved me but the memories are mostly of him wanting to rid himself of me. I think that's normal. Now that we're adults we're good. A little of that sibling rivalry still lives on. Sometimes I still like to see how far I can push him, how many buttons I can push...that's just a little sister thing and truly I am really good at it.

But back to the sister thing. So, I really wanted a sister. When I was a kid. Like, when I lived on the lake and near woods. Someone to play with everyday and share a room. I obviously had an idealized version of what a sister would be...an idea that only comes from the girl who didn't have a sister. In my mind my sister was blonde. She was the blonde me. Her name varied from Kendra to Samantha. She was a bit more girly than me...I knew exactly what I wanted in a sister.

Well, childhood came and went with no sister (although I had cousins and friends who filled the role nicely).

Then, when I was 15 after my mom had been remarried for several years and had given birth to my baby brother (who I adored), a sister was born. What the heck? The last thing I wanted at 15 was another baby in the house...one was enough thank you! And really? A sister? What good was a sister now at 15? We couldn't "play." We couldn't share clothes. We wouldn't share a room.

But my heart still soared. A sister! A baby brother. They would love me I just knew it. So, I did what I knew how. I loved them fiercely. I spoiled them and was their second mom. I bought them cute clothes, took them to the park and let them crawl in bed with me in the mornings.

And I gave them a nephew. Who they adore. They were a little aunt and uncle. And even after I moved out, got married, had my own little one I loved them with all my heart.

As they grew I grew. I knew we'd always have time (read: age) separating us. But that's alright.

And now...now that sister is 21. The sister I longed for for years is an adult and I am so blessed. She is everything a sister should be. We "play." We laugh. We talk. We don't necessarily share clothes...I am blessed by my sister...

my dream come true.

1 comment:

  1. Love this! When I was little all I wanted was a brother. I already had an older sister, and when my mom was pregnant I was so sure it would be a little brother but, alas, another sister :D
    Of course I loved her to bits, and since I am 9 years older than her, she will always be my "little" sister.