What I use to do...

I look at my blogs and I think about what I use to do. This blog itself hasn't really come to fruition within who I am. As in, I had a few blogs before and I was dedicated and they were dedicated. The personal one documented life on almost a daily basis; the book blog was amazing and it felt like either make it soar or let it go; and the photo blog ran its course and finished on an amazing note.

I miss writing. Just putting words out there and seeing what I come up with. So, I'm trying to figure out how to make this SHINE just like the address says.

As I read the last post I focused in on change. Maybe I needed a little time to change offline; this seems so as I have been offline much more in the past year than before. I was a facebook fiend once upon a time...it seems that when the fb got popular I took a back seat. Kinda an aha moment as that is what I do a lot in my life...

So, here's to what's next. Change and possibility.

...and some change

I was just looking at my calendar and there is just two weeks and some change until this little guy hits that big milestone.

Graduation.

Some mamas are feeling a bit sad and I suppose I can say the same, however mostly I'm excited. So excited. When the boy was in elementary school one kind teacher, who saw me struggling each day to leave this guy, kindly said to me, "We raise them to be awesome people and we raise them to leave us." I have carried these words around with me ever since. (By the way, I've done what she said...He is an awesome person. One of the most awesome people I know!)

I suppose I am lucky. My boy isn't "leaving" me. He'll be staying home, for awhile at least, attending the local community college and remaining a fixture in our home. So, yeah, it's easier than knowing he'd leave.

I am so excited though. For the next part of the journey. New chapters yet to be written. Not just for Archer but for all of us. So, when I was thinking "two weeks and some change," I really meant some change. I feel like maybe I should decide what I want to be when I grow up! Loving it! LET'S GO! 

everything. everyone.

make your own card

Today, right now, this quote spoke to me with such a feeling of "YES! True. True. True." That I had to keep it as a reminder to myself........
Everything matters. Everyone can teach me. Everyone is worth "it" (whatever "it" may be). Look through the lens of love and life is truth.
So far this has been a whirlwind year. Mostly an awesome whirlwind, however even all that good stuff can be exhausting. No complaints here just supreme gratitude that I can be exhausted with awesomeness.

Month in Numbers - April 2013

April was awesome. Crazy, busy, full. It seems like I barely had time to breathe but enjoyed every moment.

Here we go...Let's see if I can break it down in numbers.

On April 3 I tured a glorious 39 years old. I, for one, love my birthday and cherish every new year and love the numbers as they get bigger. Maybe this love of aging will end one day, but I hope not.

I spent my birthday with 2 amazing family members. 1 cousin, 1 brother (and I met 1 "new" nephew). Gotta love a day like that.

1 birthday dinner made by my most amazing husband. 1 birthday lunch with a wonderful friend.

On April 6 my boy came home from 14 days away (in Palau with his grandparents). I hugged him at least 20 50 times.

The boy decided to go to prom. Tux = $119; dinner = $50; a stuffed owl for his date (since he was going to be late due to a rugby game, oops) = $15.

My friend came back to Western Washington which meant lots of visiting. 1 trip to Port Townsend (which also means 2 ferry rides - love); 3 trips to Monroe; 1 trip to Everett; and countless phone calls and texts.

Celebrated a 40th birthday for an amazing lady with some great friends!

3 Rugby games (undefeated and headed for state in May).

1 going away party for a friend headed to the Coast Guard.

30 days of Q&A a Day completed.
5 lists completed via Moorea Seal (well on my way to completed all 52!).

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Month in Numbers - March 2013

A little late but here nonetheless...

Spent 3 days in Seattle with Troy for our first visit to Emerald City Comic-con. We had 3 day passes and visited the convention at least once each day.

 While in Seattle visited the Seattle Public Library 3 times. Took Troy there for his 1st time.

 And met, for the very 1st time(!), my big brother (outside of the library at 1000 4th Avenue). Brother number 2 out of 3. I am very blessed in the brother department (and I don't want to leave out that I have 1 pretty amazing sister as well).

 Had my 1st pedicure of the year on all 10 of my toes! :)

 

Watched 8 amazing seniors (and many other wonderful boys) be honored for their time spent wrestling. Archer made 24 little Key Lime pies for the event. Proud mama moment.

Took 1 more trip to Seattle to visit with my brother again(!) and had 1 piece of the best pie ever (!) at High 5 Pie.

Worked for 6 days at Cheeks so Laura could go on vacation. Now have 2 new pair of jeans for myself, 1 for my sister, and several shirts as well...(and a reminder of what it is like to work in retail).

wearing 1 pair of Merrells from the shoe store that previously was in Cheeks' location!

2 family gatherings, 1 for Paula's 57th birthday in Lynden and 1 for Easter in Marysville.

...and finally, sent my 1 boy off for 10 days in Palau (6440 miles away) with his grandparents. (The photo has nothing to do with it, I just think it's hilarious! haha)

March was awesomely busy...loved the craziness of it all!

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The Invitation.

During this year of what seems to be divine self-exploration, love for myself and the world, and opening up I've been coming upon words (there are always so many words) that just speak to me. This poem grabbed me and hasn't let me go.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Oriah, Mountain Dreamer

10 (more) things.

I've been reading (as in I've read and am rereading) Susannah Conway's book This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart. I don't have words for how much I love it so I won't even try. I just think everyone should read it...and so I recommended it to several people and one friend in particular who I KNEW needed it. As she was reading through it she'd text me and we'd meet and we had some of the best conversations. Last time we met she asked me about my 10 things (an exercise Susannah included at the end of one of the chapters).

So, I tried to come up with things I haven't already listed here.

Here you go Teresa. This list is for you. And me. And whoever.

 1. I'm a hugger. It's true. I love to hug. Sometimes.
 2. I love solitude.
 3. Until I need my people, then I NEED my people.
 4. My idea of heaven is big water and big trees.
 5. Music is necessary. Absolute must have.
 6. Quiet is golden. It's important to have both and know when each is needed. I suppose that kinda goes along with number 2, so I should add a number 11.
 7. I over use commas (a lot, lot, lot) and exclamation points (I'm so not sorry about this!) and ellipsis(ses...)...oh and (parentheses). I guess I just overuse punctuation. It's ok.
 8. I don't like clocks. Some people think this is weird. But. Whatever.
 9. I like to underline my books. Which is is why I need to buy non-fiction.
10. I swear. A lot. My child reprimands me and I try to keep it appropriate (like in public and such) but I do swear and I don't apologize for it.
11. I have a fourth sibling. On my other list I said I love all three of my siblings. But now I have four and I love him too...I love all FOUR of my siblings. And I think that is the perfect way to end this list!